orthxbadass:

Callie’s eyes narrowed dangerously,  her  hackles  rising
at  the  accusing  tone  of  Teddy’s  voice. “No,  you’re  not,”
the Latina  shot  back, just  as  harshly,  “You’re  a  widow.
Just because you still wear his ring and love him  doesn’t
mean  he  isn’t  d e a d , Teddy.”  Callie  bit  back  a  wince —
she’d just crossed a line, but so had  Teddy.  “And , if  you
think that just because I’m divorced  that  I  don’t  still  love
Arizona, you’re an idiot. That woman  was  my  life  for  five
years. She was my everything. Just because she’s a slut,
and decided to  break  her  vows  and  ruin  our  marriage,  
doesn’t  mean  I’ve  stopped  loving  her,”  Callie  mocked,
shifting Teddy’s words around for her own purpose. 

                               Her eyes  clenched  shut, sucking in  a  deep  breath
                              to gather herself. This  conversation — no,  argument —
                              was taking a turn in a direction she’d never intended.
                              Instead of healing each other, they were  only  slicing
                              open   festering   wounds.   This   was  definitely  not
                              productive. 

Her tense shoulders  eased, the  harsh  lines  of  her  face
softening, as did the coldness in her eyes. “I’m not  asking
you  to  forget  him  or  stop   l o v i n g  him,  Teddy,”   Callie
continued softly, her tone returning to the warm tenderness
of before. “Just like I know you’re  not  asking  me  to  forget
her. But this, this living in the past…it’s not healthy. Henry is
gone,  and  I’m  so  sorry.”  She  chanced  a  step  closer,  a
tentative hand brushing a lock of blond hair  away  from  her
friend’s face. “But you can’t keep letting  that  hold  you  back —
he wouldn’t want you to and you know  it. Nor  can  you  keep
p u n i s h i n g  yourself  every time you start to feel anything
close to happy.” 

Flinching as Callie  hurled  those  forbidden  words
at her, Teddy opened her mouth   to   speak…  only
to be  h o r r i f i e d  at the tears that came trickling
bitterly down  her cheeks. Swiping  them away in a  
r a g e , she fixed Callie with  an  unforgiving  stare
to cover  her  weakness.  “Don’t  you  think  I  don’t
know  that?  Don’t  you  think  it isn’t the first thing I
think about when I get up in  the  morning;  the  last
thing I  think  about  before  I  go  to  bed?  That  my
husband  is  d e a d ; that I’m a thirty-nine year-old
widow? Screw you, Callie.”

                    Breathing heavily, Teddy wondered what had gone
                    so terribly wrong that had caused this rift  between
                    them;  she  wondered  how  she could possible  be
                    screaming such  atrocities  at  a  person  she  was
                    supposed to help  h e a l .  Maybe  it  was the grief;
                    maybe it was the denial — whatever it was, it was
                    causing  a  w o r l d  of  hurt  for  the  both of them.

But out of nowhere, that soft voice broke through  her
sadness.   As  Callie’s  hand  brushed  her  cheek so
gentle and  so, so  sweet,  Teddy’s  breath  caught  a
little in her chest and her eyelids fluttered shut like a
butterfly’s wings. Lips trembling, she tried to find the
w o r d s  to speak.

                    Softly,  hesitantly,  Teddy raised her fragile green eyes
                    to  Callie’s. “Callie, you don’t understand. I  c a n ’ t  let
                    go  of the past, because it haunts me every day. I’m so
                    scared  of forgetting him,” she whispered. “I was happy
                    for  a moment, being with you, but my mind kept telling
                    me it was wrong. So wrong, because I’m not supposed
                    to be happy without  h  i  m .”