blondexhurricane:

teddyaltmcn:

Teddy  rocked   back  and  forth  on  the
hospital bed,  her gown hanging loosely
on her slight frame. It didn’t matter how
many times Delia asked — her answer
would always be the same.

                I want my baby. Give me back my baby.
                She’d lost a husband; she’d lost a child.
                And  somewhere  along  the way, she’d
                lost  h e r s e l f .

“Another little girl?” The question fell from her
lips in a hushed whisper, and Delia could only
hope Teddy hadn’t heard her utter it. Not sure
as to why, learning that she almost had a little
sister caused fresh tears to prick at her eyes.
Why couldn’t she have been more supportive?

                Dressing her up in so many cute little dresses and bows,
                teaching her how wrap mommy and daddy tightly around
                her little finger, amusing her by playing princess and tea
                party. All of those were nothing more than mere thoughts
                of what could have been. What  s h o u l d  have been but
                never would be. “Is it okay if I hug you now?” It might have
                been a stupid question, but what else was she supposed to
                say in a moment like that?

Teddy  didn’t  give  assent, but she didn’t
say no. She didn’t know what she wanted
now,  not  when the someone she wanted
the  very  most  was all but  gone.  There 
wasn’t  anything  she  could about it, and
Teddy  found  herself  drifting   —   she’d 
been  fixing  other  people’s hearts for so
long that she no longer remembered how
to fix her  o w n .

                Sweet  smiles  on  a Sunday morning,
                and   tiny  bare  feet.  She  had lost all
                of  this  joy,  this  life  that  could have 
                been. And  everything  else had paled
                in  comparison  to  her  loss;   all   the
                colors turning  to  black and white and
                gray.  She  no  longer  knew  the  right
                things  to  say  to make it  okay — for
                what  could  possibly  fix  her?  Teddy 
                was  more  than tired of being a fighter 
                — she was done with it. She wouldn’t.
                She     c o u l d n ‘ t    fight   anymore.