1000 Forms of Fear || Teddy and Delia

blondexhurricane:

A plethora of morbid theories were beginning to fill her head, and it wasn’t long until Delia found herself unable to sit still anymore. She was tired of feeling helpless. There had to be something that she could do until one of the doctors came out to give her either the worst or the best news of her life.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Delia announced to the nurse who had been forced to watch over her for the time being, as she stood up from her chair. “Don’t worry, I’m a big girl. I can go by myself.”

Without waiting for an answer, she headed off in the right direction but made a detour for the chapel as soon as she was out of sight. Glad to see that she was alone, Delia slowly made her way up towards the front row of pews. After a moment’s hesitation, she sat down at the end of the row, deciding not to light one of the candles. She’d never been allowed to mess with fire before, and now wasn’t the time to go breaking any of the rules.

Especially not in a hospital chapel of all places. No, she had to do everything strictly by the book, or else God might not answer her prayers.

Closing her eyes, Delia gathered her thoughts for a minute before finally breaking the silence that had so peacefully filled the room. “Dear God, I hope you’re out there and that you’re listening to me right now. If you are, I need your help. I don’t understand why my mommy had to get hurt so bad, but thank you for finally bringing her home to me. It means a lot, but now you have to make her get better. Please, God. I can’t already lose her all over again.”

If gratitude and pleas didn’t work, maybe a little bargaining would. What could it hurt, right? “If you let my mommy live, I promise that it’ll be worth it. I’ll always do what she tells me to without her having to ask twice. I’ll keep my room really clean, and I’ll try really hard in school. I can even donate all of my old clothes that are too little for me now to other kids who don’t have as much. And I can make friends with that one girl in my class who always gets teased and made fun of a lot because of stupid stuff.”

It probably sounded to some like she was overdoing it just a tad, but Delia was desperate to cover every single base she could possibly think of with her prayer. “Oh, and I’m sorry that I kind of lied earlier. I just didn’t want to be distracted, and I was kind of afraid that she would say no if I asked to come in here. Anyway, you probably have a lot of other people to listen to, so I should let you go. Say hi to my daddy for me, and thank you for giving me the best mommy in the entire world. I love her so much, and I don’t know what I would do without her. Amen.”

Knowing better than to expect some sort of a sign so quickly, Delia opened her eyes and sat in the comfortable silence for a minute, before finally exiting the chapel and heading back down the hallway to the waiting area. Reclaiming her previously vacated seat, she could only hope that she wasn’t going to be in any sort of trouble for being away so long. After the deal she’d just made with God, she knew that attempting to lie her way out of it would only defeat the purpose.

No sooner had she sat down than she caught sight of one of Teddy’s doctors making his way over in their general direction. From the look on his face, she couldn’t tell if she was about to cry from sorrow or happiness. Either way, tears were more than likely going to be shed. “How is she? How’s my mommy? When can I see her?”

The beeping of the heart monitor sounded ominously distant to her ears, its incessant measure of her heartbeats seemingly inconsequential; in the dark light between sleeping and waking, Teddy found herself living the very last moments of peace she had left.  

“Delia,” she tried to whisper, but no sound came out. Only then did she manage to put herself in a time and place — as the final shreds of reality came crashing down once again , she realized that she was home. This hospital, this very ICU — it held memories more abundant than the grains of sand in the desert.

As Teddy tried to speak once more, the obstruction in her throat grew apparent. Coughing, Teddy struggled to dislodge it; her feeble hands grappled with the plastic tube, unable to pull it free. She knew she should stay still; she herself had spoken the very same calming words the nurse was saying to her now, after all. But she’d never known just how hard it was to hear them over the adamant voice of panic.

“Dr. Altman, I need you to stay still for me,” the nurse was saying, her wide-eyed gaze locked upon Teddy’s terrified one. “I need to take this tube out, but I can’t do it if you’re fighting me. Just try to relax, okay?”

She was a soldier; she always had been. And like a soldier, Teddy could swallow her fear when need be. Closing her eyes and nodding, Teddy managed to forget the pain for just a moment so that the nurse could help her breathe.

It took ten fleeting heartbeats.

“Where’s my daughter?” Teddy asked imploringly the moment she could speak. “Where’s Delia?” She knew she wouldn’t forget the look of horror on her little girl’s face nor those terrified screams for as long as she lived — but right then, Teddy just had to know whether Delia was alright. And as she turned her head, it was like she was seeing her daughter for the very first time.

Face flush with all the love she hadn’t able to give for far too long, Teddy felt a choked cry rise from her chest before she could stop it. Delia’s face — it was just as angelic as she remembered it. And the grief and loss that had ripped her heart to shreds started to fade away, joy and relief picking up the pieces.  

She’d waited so long for this day.

“Delia,” she breathed. “I missed you… I missed you so, so much.” There was nothing Teddy could say that Delia didn’t already know, but the words had failed her. Holding out her arms, all traces of her previous fatigue were swept away — all she wanted was to hold her daughter.