blondexhurricane:

soldierheartcd:

“Why, so you can sit here and
feel sorry for yourself all night,
too?”

As much as Delia wanted to blame Teddy’s words
on the anger she was feeling, deep down she knew
better than that. She knew her mother meant every
single last word. And that was what made it all that
much harder to hear. It was obvious that Delia had
finally reached her breaking point when little hands
raised to cover her ears as her cheeks turned from
their normal color to one of pure scarlet from all of
the tears that were daring to prick at her dull eyes.
“Stop it! Stop saying that! Stop acting like nobody
else matters and that it’s all about you. Because
guess what, Mommy? It’s not! And your life isn’t
over, either! You just have to find a new way and
a new reason to live it. Now shut up and don’t be
such a selfish  w i t c h  anymore, because I’m
sick of it!  P l e a s e.” Finished with her rant of
frustration, Delia wondered if Teddy would even
have a reaction to it as she took a minute or two
to properly catch her breath.

Teddy would have been lying if  she  said  she  didn’t  hate
the guilt that washed through her, but the  truth  behind  her
words  ran  deep.  She  hated this feeling, those echoes as
she breathed — it was as though the world had moved  on
without her, with each day passed leaving her  further  and
further behind. And it made  her  wonder  —  what was the
point? Her lungs had never felt so small, and she couldn’t
breathe if she tried; her breaking heart wanted  more  than
this. She missed the days her mind would just  rest  quiet,
as strong as a stone that feared no weather. And so, when
Delia  called  her  out  on the person she had become, the
only thing on her mind was regret.

With  her  previous  anger  nowhere  near her voice, she
breathed: “Would you love me if I was gone?” No matter
the answer, Teddy realized — she had no reason to live,
but she had a reason not to die.