1000 Forms of Fear || Teddy and Delia

blondexhurricane:

The walk down to Teddy’s room seemed to take forever as Delia made sure to pay close attention to the instructions the doctor was giving her. It apparently didn’t matter how long the mother and daughter pair had been separated from each other. Teddy still needed her rest, so the visit wasn’t allowed to last for too long. She also had to make sure and stay calm this time, as well as be cautious of her mother’s injuries.

After basically promising that she would be on her very best behavior, Delia was finally allowed in the room. Now that the only obstacle keeping them apart was something as trivial as a door, the nerves were beginning to set in. Memories from their earlier reunion in the Emergency Room came flooding back, and it was all the little girl could do to push them aside. There wasn’t going to be a repeat version of that horrible moment. All she had to do was keep reminding herself of that until she actually believed it.

Pushing the door open, Delia entered the room and just stood there, needing a minute or two to take everything in. She could feel the tears falling almost immediately as she studied Teddy from head to toe. While she still looked more run down and fragile than she ever had before, at least she was still alive. At least Delia could tell that she was still breathing.

And this time there was no blood. The nightmare was finally over. It’d taken longer than she’d wished, but her dream had officially come true. She had her mommy back.

“I’m here, Mommy.” Delia finally spoke up and announced her presence, upon hearing Teddy asking for her. Using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe away the remainder of her tears, she quickly added, “I’m right here, and I’m never leaving you ever again.”

Teddy’s open arms were all Delia needed to see before she practically ran across the room and hopped up onto the bed, careful not to mess up any of the wires in the process. “I missed you, too. I missed you so times infinity much.” Her grin was so wide that her cheeks were starting to ache, and a bright gleam in her eyes now replaced the earlier hollow look. It was safe to say that she was the happiest she’d been in a long, long while.

“I’m really sorry that they made you ride on a helicopter, Mommy. It must have been scary.” It obviously wasn’t her fault, but that didn’t mean that Delia felt any less guilty. In her eyes, Teddy wasn’t supposed to feel any pain. At least not the type that her daughter had absolutely no control over and couldn’t figure out a way to fix anyway. “I kinda yelled at everyone for it, though, so I don’t think they’ll ever try and do it again.”

Delia stretched out and made herself comfortable on her edge of the hospital bed before snuggling up next to Teddy as close as humanly possible. Breathing in her scent, she took comfort in knowing that no matter how long her mother had been gone, no matter how many miles across the globe she’d traveled, she still smelled exactly like Delia remembered.

Like home.

“Oh, honey,” Teddy breathed. “Oh, my baby girl. I’ve missed you so much, Delia. Every day,” she whispered. “I kept dreaming about coming back to see you, and now it’s finally come true. But I never imagined it’d be like this.” Though her mouth twisted in a sad smile, nothing could mar the sheer joy of having her daughter back. Teddy had hoped to stand among her brothers, searching the crowds for her daughter’s face; lying in this bed seemed to steal her dignity, in a way. “But that doesn’t matter. I’m here now, and I’m never leaving you again. I love you so much, baby; I really do.”

Her embrace, both fierce and tender, spoke all the words she couldn’t say. But Teddy knew her daughter would understand, for there’d never been a day when Delia’s open heart hadn’t had the time to listen. Even when Teddy’s soul was too tired to speak, Delia never failed to see right through her.

When she needed somebody strong for all the times she felt weak, Delia was that somebody. And when those skies came crashing down upon her, bullets cracking the blue between the clouds, it was her daughter’s voice that tided her through. Every day, she heard Delia’s words reminding her she was born for better things — that there was a reason to stay, to save the people who needed to be saved. This little girl — she made her brave, just like a spark gave birth to a flame.

Now, that same voice had called Teddy home. The last sound that passed between them was no longer one of a closing door; no, it was one of a light filling the shadows that weighed down her tired bones. And if it had a sound, her smile would have sung a thousand arias; here, in Delia’s arms, the darkness had no foe. When her fires burned low and the life inside her faded, Teddy had found herself drawing strength from her little girl. If only she could find the words to speak the ways in which Delia had saved her…

But behind this, a fear — a thousand fears, in fact. In that moment, they couldn’t touch her happiness, but Teddy knew that it was only a matter of time before they came barging into her dreams. She feared that, since she was gone, Delia would no longer love her or need her. After all, hadn’t they survived these months apart without being the worse for wear? What if Delia realized she wouldn’t need her mother anymore because of this — what if she didn’t need her? Teddy would never cease to miss the months of her daughter’s life she’d let slip through her grasp; with a chilling absolution, she realized that she’d never get them back again. 

“I’m sorry that I left,” Teddy said quietly. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you that, but I truly am. You needed me, and I wasn’t there — and I can’t forgive myself for that.” Through the long nights and even longer days, it had been another woman who comforted Delia as she cried; all the while, Teddy knew it should have been her hands that held her. But all of the should haves and what ifs counted for nothing, for nothing could bring back the moments she’d left behind with her daughter.