blondexhurricane:

Delia grew silent, trying to figure out the best way to
answer the question she hadn’t been prepared for. It
wasn’t that she didn’t know what to say. No, she was
just trying to do the impossible; imagine a life which
didn’t include the one person that she owed hers to.
“Of course I would love you. I’ll always love you, no
matter where you are. You’re my mommy, and I just
want you to be happy again.” Delia’s face softened as
she slowly made her way over towards Teddy’s chair.
Everything was still so new, and she couldn’t help but
treat her mother like a fragile porcelain doll, so afraid
that one wrong move or touch might wind up causing
further damage.

Gingerly intertwining their fingers as Delia took hold
of Teddy’s hand in her own, the raw fear mixed with
worry and a tiny glimmer of hope in her eyes spoke
v o l u m e s. More than any of her words ever could.
Putting up the best brave front she could muster, the
little girl hesitantly voiced the one question that she
was almost too afraid to ask, yet  d e s p e r a t e l y
needed to hear the answer to. “If you do go away and
leave me, it’s not because I did something that made
you love me any l e s s  than you used to before your
accident, right?”

Accident.  It  was  as  though  Delia’s  words were making
a  mockery out of her pain, though God knew her daughter
didn’t  intend  them  that  way.  This wasn’t an accident —
accidents  were  the slip of a hand, broken glass so easily
forgotten.  No,  this  was the consequence of every choice
she’d  ever made, come back at  last  to  bite  her  —  this
was  the price she had to pay for ever leaving home in the
first place. And what hurt the most was the fact that Teddy
knew  she  had  no  one  but  herself to blame; despite the
hatred  she  held  for  the  moments that wronged her, she
knew  it was her own decisions that had left the rest of her
life to waste.

“Delia,” Teddy said quietly, but not once did she meet her
daughter’s  eyes.  “I’m  not  going  to  leave you. I’m your
mother.  Just  don’t expect me to ever be happy again —
because  if you turn out to be yet another person trying to
force  me  into a life I never wanted for myself, I will hate
you.  I  don’t  care  if  you’re  my  daughter; you’re all the
same.  You  wouldn’t  understand  until  you  stood in my
place.”