Colder Weather || Teddy and Delia

blondexhurricane:

“Better me than you. You’ve already heard more than enough lies.” That was Delia’s only response before disappearing down the hallway to her room. Once inside, she quietly shut the door behind her and just stood there for a minute, not sure what to do. Part of her wanted to cry, but she didn’t have anymore tears left. Part of her wanted to throw something across the room, but she was too emotionally exhausted to bother. Besides, it probably wouldn’t be the best way to express her never ending frustration anyway.

Crossing the floor over to her closet, she stared at her wardrobe, uncertainty taking over yet again. Finally deciding on a pair of jeans and one of her favorite graphic tees, Delia changed out of her pajamas and into her chosen outfit before heading into the bathroom to finish getting ready. Once her teeth had been brushed, her blonde hair pulled back into a high ponytail, and all of the necessary makeup was applied, she grabbed the first aid kit that was tucked safely away underneath the sink before making her way back into the living room.

Glad to see that Teddy wasn’t still busy on the phone, Delia popped open the kit and laid all of the necessary contents out on the coffee table in front of her. It was time to put some of what she’d been taught over the years to good use. Grabbing a small packet of antibiotic ointment in one hand, she held out the other. “May I please see your arm?” Some of the bruises looked like they were slowly yet surely fading away on their own, but when it came to the more recent cuts and scrapes, she wasn’t going to take any chances.

“So, have you decided what you want to do today yet?” While Delia knew Teddy probably hadn’t given it much thought, if any at all, she felt the need to steer the topic of conversation towards something much more positive than all of the unspoken words that were forever lingering in the air between them. “I’m definitely up for staying in all day and doing nothing but try to find random ways to cure our boredom. Or we could always just get in the car and see where the road takes us. Around town, I mean. I know you don’t want to go anywhere outside the city limits.”

Each new day seemed to chip away another little piece of the mother she once knew, but Delia was bound and determined not to give up on her. Even if it meant having to follow around behind her with a dust pan to catch each one so she could eventually glue them all back together again.

Neither mother nor daughter would ever be who they once were again, Henry had made sure of that, but as long as they had each other, Delia knew that they would be strong enough to fight and live another day.

Clutching the phone in her hand as though daring it to ring, Teddy fixed it with a glare that in no way reflected the beaten soul that lingered within her. Time and time again, she’d tried standing by a strength of her own — but every time the morning broke, she found herself closer to falling. It wasn’t as though she wanted to hear the things Henry had to say; no, she wanted to see the day Henry might fling an insult her way, and she’d finally find it in herself to refute him. God knew a lesser person would have left long before then; yet, the moments she and Henry had shared on a younger day never failed to leave her stalling.

These days, Teddy had been trying to remember that she wasn’t alone. Each time she felt as though she might capsize, she’d counted on having someone else in her boat — Delia. Her trust and her faith had long since waned, but Delia had always been there to catch her; a lone, shining beacon of hope to cut through her darkness. And though pain was built to last, so be the love Teddy had for her daughter.

All this while, she’d let herself be cut down. And it wasn’t just Henry — no, it was her own imperfections and insecurities that hurt her the most. In wondering whether Henry’s words were true, she’d left her temper a widow — and now she no longer felt like grieving, for fear that her grief might be misplaced. What if he was right? What if she truly was the person Henry had made her out to be? Surely, if she’d been better, then she wouldn’t be doubting herself now…

Seeing Delia enter the room with the first-aid kit, the freshness of her guilt blew back upon her like the turning of a wind. What kind of mother was she, to let her beloved daughter suffer the same horrors she’d suffered under this roof? What was more, Teddy had failed to keep her little girl from growing up too soon — there was something about violence and hate that carved lines of age across a person’s face. And now, having had the chance to give Delia the attention she’d been missing these past months, Teddy could see all too well the way the light behind Delia’s eyes had dimmed a few shades. This, she thought, was worth the grief — for it was her daughter’s childhood that had been stolen. So much worse than an insult, this was the cruellest form of collateral damage that Henry could ever have dealt her. 

If only she could fix it.

“Oh, baby,” Teddy murmured. “Let me do it myself — I’m a doctor, I can handle it.” The truth was, she didn’t want Delia to see the sheer extent of her injuries — there were some things that sleep and darkness could hide, and they were the things Teddy wanted to keep hidden.