Smoke Without Fire || Amelia & Teddy

amelia-hurricane-shepherd:

Her heart was tearing itself into tiny shreds inside her chest, and she just kept
thinking she should be used to this by now. She should know that no one was
ever going to stay forever. At least now she knew why she never heard back
from him – why their last skype call almost a month before had never been
allowed completion. All that time she put off telling him their news out of fear,
and when she did, she feared he ran. Maybe he did. Or maybe he was killed.
Maybe his body was laying out there somewhere, burnt beyond recognition
or being feasted upon by wild animals or– The possibilities were endless, and
not a single one was any less terrible than the last.

“So, what–? He’s just been out there alone for God knows how long now, and
you really think you’re going to get him back? Do you even have an idea where
he might be? If he’s still alive?”

A hand flew to her forehead, massaging the area between her brows as she
fought off tears. She shouldn’t have let him go. Maybe if she had asked him
to stay…

She’d been too afraid. Too afraid to speak up and defend her friend, but that had
been a selfish fear she couldn’t blame on weakness. From some distorted place
in her mind, she’d seen more worth in her job than she did in friendship; from her
lips, she’d made promises that couldn’t have held less weight. And this was the
price — yet, she wasn’t the only one who had to pay it. 

Amelia,  too.  Amelia,  whose  accusing eyes ate away at her honor and dignity.
Under that gaze, Teddy was nothing more than a coward; worse than that, she’d
proven herself a liar. For all the times she’d sworn she’d bring Owen home, her
empty words had fallen short  —  and all Teddy could promise now was that no
matter what happened, she’d be there to pick up the pieces. 

“If he’s out there, he isn’t alone.” Lies, again. “At least, I don’t think so. He went
missing the same day as the rest of his platoon. They’re some of our finest men,
Amelia — I’ve put every resource I can spare into finding them.”

The wives, the families of the fallen — their numbers had been too many to count.
But Teddy would never forget the looks on each of their faces, for she’d once worn
the same grief on her own. And God knew the world didn’t need another folded flag
                                                                                 — it didn’t need another widow.