Mean || Delia and Teddy

blondexhurricane:

Refusing to show any sort of weakness, especially around one of her peers who had just tried to prove that they were tougher and more deserving than she was, Delia picked herself up from the ground and quickly dusted off the sand. Being the bigger person wasn’t easy, but ever since she had been forced to grow up at about twice the speed of all the other kids, it was something she was determined to prove she could do.

What Delia hadn’t been expecting was for Teddy to come wheeling over, intent on giving the little boy a piece of her mind. Still, the proud feeling in her chest couldn’t be denied. It might not have been much, but she’d finally caught a glimpse of the mommy she used to be so grateful was hers, and that was a start. It was enough to remind her that there was a reason to keep holding on to all that hope, despite how much even Teddy herself tried to rip it away.

As if that wasn’t surprising enough, while she didn’t remember hitting any part of her head during her fall, what happened next caused Delia to question whether or not she was suddenly starting to see things that weren’t actually there. It was awkward and shaky, and she felt the need to blink a couple of times to make absolutely sure that it wasn’t just her eyes playing tricks on her, but it didn’t take long to realize that everything in front of her was real.

“Mommy! You can…you can walk!” Fresh tears threatened to fall, but this time they weren’t from pain or upset. No, these tears were ones of pure joy, and Delia could care less who witnessed them gliding down her cheeks. In that moment, the only thing on her mind was smothering Teddy with hugs to let her know just how proud of and excited for her she truly was.

Unfortunately, Delia’s excitement proved to be somewhat premature. Just as fast as she had pulled herself up, Teddy was back down again, but this time it was on the ground instead of back in her wheelchair. Frozen in place, all her daughter could do was stand there in embarrassment, her cheeks now a bright shade of scarlet as she felt all eyes glued to the pair.

As she hit the ground, a cry left Teddy’s lips that she did her best to quell. In the silence that followed her fall, she couldn’t even bear to look up for fear of the pity and condescension — who was watching her? What had they found in her to lay judgement upon this time?

Not once had she seen clearer than she had a day in this chair — eyes unmasked by degradation, she finally knew her true friends; not one had stood by her side, nor looked at her with the same worth they once had. And in this life where each day made her feel years older, there was nothing Teddy needed more than a friend — but she’d always, always had Delia.

For as long as Teddy could remember, Delia had looked up to her mother in every way. She found it a blessing, but the better part of her had taken it for granted — and Teddy realized how wrong she’d been in an instant. Looking up, there was something pitying in her daughter’s gaze, something that gave reason for Teddy’s darkest humiliation — it humbled her and broke her, for she’d never been so betrayed.

In some naïve part of her mind that had yet to cave to bitterness, she’d always counted on Delia — unfair as it was to such a young girl, Teddy had trusted her with the last of her dreams. And if hope was a burden her daughter was no longer willing to bear, Teddy had nothing. 

“I’m sorry,” Teddy whispered, eyes haunted and plaintive. Just when she’d thought the disappointments were behind them, she’d let Delia down again. To her horror, bitter tears began rolling down her cheeks, but it wasn’t the pain that brought them — that, Teddy could have borne with stoicism. No, it was the shame and the defeat that made her shoulders shake with abject misery, for her strength had abandoned her as fast as it had come.

And Teddy realized that her weakness wasn’t why she’d fallen; no, she’d fallen by her hope. Why had she ever thought to hope in the first place  — what right did she have? She was nowhere near strong enough, and she would never be.

This time, when the bitterness threatened her, Teddy welcomed it in  — after all, she couldn’t possibly have been in a darker place than this.